On this, the anniversary date of Chris’ passing, I remember. I play his favorite songs on the car stereo as drive to his grave site. I drive the old T-Bird he got for my son. If no one else is about, I’ll rev the engine as a salute on my way out. While I’m there, I tidy up a bit; trim the grass, water the flowers or add some new ones.
Of course I chat with him. He always said he wanted to be buried rather than cremated because he wanted somewhere people could come and visit him.
Some anniversaries I’ll make a coffee date with those who were special to him. Like the great gal from the Benjamin Moore paint store who would always put on a fresh pot of coffee for him.
He was a good man and my great love and these are my ways of remembering.
Everyone honours their loved ones in their own way.
When my brother died, my sister in law, Kamla, arranged a memorial scholarship for Jack. Anyone can still contribute if they like and it helps young people shape their future. A hockey and softball coach, Jack was always interested in helping young people develop their skills. Well thought of at work, Jack’s employer had a bench installed in the local high school grounds dedicated to him.
Also, my brother loved to camp with his family on this one particular site on Arrow Lake. Now every year Kamla hosts a big camp out, with games and remembrance balloons that carry felt pen messages into the sky on the anniversary of his death. Cousins, nieces, nephews, siblings, grandkids and friends from all over come for this annual event.
In some cases, budget restrictions dictate how we will remember our loved ones. It really doesn’t matter. Whether you have a mass said, or party hearty, it’s the thought, the memories and the heartfelt love that really count.
This Caregiver’s Journal began in August of 2014. Although the first blog article was actually written on New Year’s Day, 2015, the rest are in chronological order from August 5th, 2014. What is written here has gone before.