Have you ever felt betrayed by or angry at a health care professional?

Perhaps you thought you were not getting complete information about diagnosis and treatment plans.  Or maybe you felt certain aspects of the treatment, diet or delivery of medication could be done in a more effective and less intrusive manner.

Many of us who are caring for the needs of our loved ones, who act as advocates in the doctor’s office, at the nursing station and in the face of home care workers can find ourselves suppressing feelings of anger and resentment.

Both the patient and the caregiver may be reluctant to express concerns. Some simply may not know to whom or how they should put their questions.

For those patients and caregivers these unexpressed concerns can cause anxiety and even conflict with those in the health care community whose very job is make life easier for the patient.

Dr. Kuhl, a palliative care doctor, suggest that sometimes doctors and nurses can be so familiar with certain diagnosis, treatment plans, and even the hospital environment that they fail to take into account the patient’s lack of understanding of processes and terminology.

Ask questions, be proactive in your quest for knowledge about your condition, the diagnosis, the treatment plan and what all of this means for you or your loved one.

Decision making should involve your input.  Family and friends can assist you in this endeavour.

Why is it so important to understand what is happening and how?  Because Dr. Kuhl’s research has shown him that suffering is diminished by both the patient’s ability to understand his situation and his sense of having some control over the treatment path.

This column is inspired by Dr. David Kuhl’s book, What Dying People Want: Practical Wisdom for the End of Life.