Tag Archives: caregiver’s viewpoint

Caretaker? Caregiver? Part 2

Part two of a continuous narrative by guest author, Gemma Tammas.

One morning I found Tom tied down in a wheelchair in front of the nursing station.

His head dropped on his chest, saliva was dripping from his mouth.

“He was climbing out of his bed,” the nurses told me, “we had to tie him in the wheelchair and roll him out to the hall to keep an eye on him.”

“All these medications make him crazy,” I argued and from there on, I had no choice but to stay with him during the nights also.

After two long weeks, still feverish, losing half of his weight with gall bladder infection and against his doctor’s advice, I brought him home.

He was weak, not able to stand by himself.  With my brother’s help, we would carry him to the bathroom, wash him on his bed and feed him, forcing the food down as he had no appetite.

Slowly he recovered his strength, what was left of it, and our pilgrimage to different specialists began. After six months and countless tests, he was diagnosed with Parkinson disease, Alzheimer and hypothyroid. As he already had a pacemaker, visiting his cardiologist three times a year was now topped with regular visits to his neurologist.

His medication ‘regime’ had to be set, and after six months, a routine was established. To help his memory and to help him to sleep better two more medications were added.

We follow a stringent schedule for his eating as he can only eat an hour before or two hours after with certain pills.

I was amazed how religiously he was taking the pills, he, who never took even an aspirin in his whole life.

Now, from 7am till 10 pm in the evening he is on a strict schedule.

When I wake him up at seven o’clock to take his first dosage – he kisses my hand.

But at night he seems more confused.  When I try to put eye drops in his eyes for his glaucoma, I have to force his eyes open because he opens his mouth instead.

 

Caregivers: When the Terminally Ill Spouse Keeps Working.

As his caregiver, I was pleased but a little concerned that in August of 2014, Chris still ran his small painting business.

He handled inquiries, did the appraisals, got the subcontractor bids and dealt with customer kudos and complaints.

I worried about the stress, but when I asked the doctor about it, his answer was surprising.  He said the business was probably what keeps Chris going.

Research indicates that loss of interest in a person’s work or hobbies is one of the major signs of depression in the chronically and/or terminally ill.

This wasn’t the case with Chris.  On the contrary, his mental and emotional well-being were certainly bolstered by the small business he’d built up over the years.

Though he could hardly walk to the kitchen some days, still he would summon up the energy to meet with aclient and sell the job.

Chris enjoyed the clients, the paint store reps and lively discussions with the subcontractor.

An important decision to relieve the pressure that came with the business?   Getting rid of the one big client who was also the one big stressor. After that, the painting business became purely pleasurable for him.

 Usually I drove, due to his health.  Afterward, he’d be so energized, we might go for breakfast, or take a run into the States for gas or pick up his meds at Costco. 

The doctor was right: starting out with a purpose? That’s what kept Chris going.