When over 6,000 Canadian caregivers were asked to rate their stress levels, those caring for spouses ranked themselves higher on the stress scale than those caring for children or parents.
In fact, those caring for parents ranked themselves lowest. Reading other caregiver websites, I can tell you this is not always the case!
And there are exceptions to every rule.
Younger, employed persons found care giving more stressful in general with the pressures of the normal duties of work and home being compounded by the added duties of caring for someone.
While planning ahead is given as a stress-reliever, we all know from Kamla and Gemma’s articles that this is not always possible. These situations can descend on us in a moment and change our lives forever.
Other tips? Get informed not only about the illness the loved one has, but also about care giving. Find support groups and respite resources in your area. Take time to take care of yourself. Acknowledge your feelings. Ask others to help.
Accept that you are not always going to be happy in your situation. Once you do, dealing with those feelings will be easier.
In my experience? People of faith have an advantage in finding acceptance of their situation. As one spousal caregiver put it: Once I learned that I had to relinquish this control that I thought I had over our situation, to God, it took a lot of the pressure off.
As his caregiver, I was pleased but a little concerned that in August of 2014, Chris still ran his small painting business.
He handled inquiries, did the appraisals, got the subcontractor bids and dealt with customer kudos and complaints.
I worried about the stress, but when I asked the doctor about it, his answer was surprising. He said the business was probably what keeps Chris going.
Research indicates that loss of interest in a person’s work or hobbies is one of the major signs of depression in the chronically and/or terminally ill.
This wasn’t the case with Chris. On the contrary, his mental and emotional well-being were certainly bolstered by the small business he’d built up over the years.
Though he could hardly walk to the kitchen some days, still he would summon up the energy to meet with aclient and sell the job.
Chris enjoyed the clients, the paint store reps and lively discussions with the subcontractor.
An important decision to relieve the pressure that came with the business? Getting rid of the one big client who was also the one big stressor. After that, the painting business became purely pleasurable for him.
Usually I drove, due to his health. Afterward, he’d be so energized, we might go for breakfast, or take a run into the States for gas or pick up his meds at Costco.
The doctor was right: starting out with a purpose? That’s what kept Chris going.
This Caregiver’s Journal began in August of 2014. Although the first blog article was actually written on New Year’s Day, 2015, the rest are in chronological order from August 5th, 2014. What is written here has gone before.
Caregiver Me 