Category Archives: caregiving beginnings

Are You A Caregiver? How Do You Know?

In North America it is estimated that the over 65 population will double to 70 million by 2030. In the US alone, the home care provided by family members or other unpaid members of the general public (friends, neighbours) in 2007 was already worth an estimated 370 billion dollars.

So, who is a caregiver?  Are you a caregiver?

According to the American Family Caregiver Alliance you are a caregiver if you provide these services:

  • Buy groceries, cooks, cleans house or does laundry for someone who needs special help doing these things? (This sounds like what I did for every husband I ever had).

  • Help a family member get dressed, take a shower and take medicine?

  • Help with transferring someone in and out of bed, helps with physical therapy, injections, feeding tubes or other medical procedures?

  • Make medical appointments and drives to the doctor and drugstore?

  • Talks with the doctors, care managers and others to understand what needs to be done?

  • Spend time at work handling a care-giving (patient) crisis or making plans to help a family member who is sick?

  • Is the designated “on-call” family member for problems?

Sadly, you are not unique if while performing these types of services, you juggle work and family.  Some of you may find yourselves in the “sandwich” generation, that is, taking care of parents and children at the same time.

All of these factors can be further exacerbated by the type of illness the patient suffers, by availability of facilities and professionals, by cultural approaches and also by livng a long distance away from the person who requires your care.

Want to read more about caregiving?  To find some examples of complaints and kudos and good tips about caregiving and possible resources?  Then go to:

https://www.caregiver.org/caregiving

I hope this helps!

Yours truly,

Margaret Jean.

Caretaker, Caregiver?  

The next 3 posts are guest posts from Gemma Tammas, a continuous narrative in three parts.

Enjoy!

by Gemma Tamas          2011 October ©

I am a wife, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.

My career started when I was only eighteen years old looking after my husband, and soon, taking care of my two boys. All of that without having to take a course and study for; it was simply ‘learning on the job.’ But, if I would have given a test, ‘an aptitude test’ called nowadays, I would have passed, because all you needed was love and I had plenty of that. Through the years while ‘training on the job,’ I made many mistakes, too many to count, but my love never suffered by it, my passion to give unscathed.

Now, in my twilight years, I am still taking care of Tom, my husband close to sixty years, as he fights his many sicknesses, with great determination, as he fought his way through many obstacles and hardships during his lifetime. Our marriage was not a perfect one but we are together with a strong bond, called love, forever.

It started four years ago when one morning Tom woke up with high temperature, shaking feverishly, talking nonsense, but still he had enough strength or stubbornness to insist to drive himself to the Vancouver General Hospital. It would have been futile to argue with him to go to a much closer one. Swaying on his feet, jingling his car keys in his hand he dropped them and fell into my arms. With my brother’s help we lifted him into the car, where he slumped down. By the time we arrived at the hospital thirty-five kilometers away, he was unconscious and stayed that way for three days. During that time he was in isolation as the doctors didn’t know if he was infectious until they put him through rigorous testing, while battering me repeatedly with their questions. Was Tom drinking? Was he an alcoholic? I was shocked, offended by their interrogations as Tom never drank, maybe a glass of wine with his meal.

When his fever was under control and his tests showed no infectious disease, he was shifted to the geriatric ward. I spent my time by his bedside from morning till night. Every morning he greeted me with stories about the happenings on the ward the previous night. “Do you know,” he mumbled, “that old Chinese woman in the next bed is a drug dealer conducting her business on her cell phone at night, and another was murdered. Last night.” He whispered in my ears. “Two men, dressed in black, came and killed her.” His eyes filled with horror. “You have to get me out of here,” he begged. “I’ll be the next one, you’ll see.”

Caregiving: Where the Story Begins.

When we were married, it never occurred to me that one day I would be his caregiver!

We were married late in life.  Chris worked in sales, had three children and I was a twice-divorced single mom with three teenagers.  I worked as a dispatcher in Cablevision, making union wages.

Over the years we changed residences and jobs often.  The kids flowed between parents and our lives were fairly chaotic.
In 1991, Chris was diagnosed with diabetes.  We had our own businesses then, but it became obvious a change was needed.  I went to work for the government in Vancouver.

In 1993, still in sales, he had his first heart attack.  He’s had angioplasties almost every year since.

In 2000, Chris started a painting business.  In 2004 the business was booming and we bought a big old house on half an acre on Surrey’s Panorama Ridge.

In 2006 he had open heart surgery.  In 2012 after a brief road trip he had two heart attacks in less than thirty days.  An experimental bypass followed four months later.

The stripping of veins from his legs to use for the bypass set Chris back a lot.  Walking continued to be painful making it difficult and then impossible for him to assess and negotiate jobs with prospective clients.

We downsized again to a small apartment close to all amenities.  In mere months our annual gross income plummeted.  Like many other people who are struck by disease or disaster, we face new challenges every day.

This blog is about how we choose to face those challenges.

Yours truly,

Margaret Jean.